straightboyfriend:

my cashier: anything else for you sir?
me: uh, i. um
sara bareilles in my head: i wanna see you be brave
me: can i have some ketchup pls .

97i:

You gotta act like shit don’t phase you, even if it does.

warrior-princess-4ever:

homfrog:

What they say:
There is a skeleton inside you.

The truth:
You are inside your skeleton. You are a brain.

What the fuck

muckkles:

working with children is a wild fucking experience yall. this morning at work one of our second graders got my attention and was like “you know what word my mom told me not to say? PUSSY.” and i was like “then why did you just say it??” and she went “i dunno” and then dabbed

the-absolute-best-memes:

“i can’t eat that, i’ll get fat”

“i can’t sleep in late today i have to do work”

“no i can’t watch a whole season in one go that’s lazy”

“i can’t-”

breadmaakesyoufat:

i just heard a bouncing noise and then that was followed by my dad saying

“oh no my potato”